I Heart Knitters

I swear I have gushed about knitters and those I work with so many times on Twitter, my podcast and this blog that I am becoming a broken record but I mean it: knitters and crafters are amazing. 

It's not really that big a secret that the last month has been hell on toast between buying a house, the last minute negotiations (and the tantrums of those we're buying from), the packing, the organising and the ENDLESS, endless hospital trips for me. I am not known for crying unless I'm angry but I was at that point where I'd hit my limit and was gulping big sobs on the phone to my sister who was alarmed to say the least. She knows that if I'm crying and not fighting anymore, things are bad indeed. 

I have flinched everytime someone has asked 'Are you excited about your new house?' or I bet you're nesting right?' Each time it was a heavy reminder that I should be excitedly preparing a family home for the soon to arrive Playful Baby and yet I wasn't. I felt so worn down. 

But then knitters happened. 

I work with designers, yarnies, tech editors and other such wonderful people. My podcast and blog have connected me to a community I respect, admire and adore and they brought me back into a happy space through their love and contact. Over the last few weeks I've been fortunate enough to have a trickle of mother and baby presents that brought a tear to my eye for all the right reasons. 

Knitters and crafty types understand the love and care that goes into creating a finished object and that's why each item I'm about to share means the world to the giant and I. They were created by wonderful friends who I am connected to simply through knitting. I understand the thoughts that poured into them as they were worked and when my little one is wrapped in them, I will know that they are the luckiest baby in the world because they are wrapped in the love of knitters and crafters. That beats all the crap of the last few months hands down and I wanted to share the power of handmade gifts with you too. 

I won't name gift givers as it feels that I then remove the personal touch with which they were gifted but I will say that as knitting aunties go, Playful Baby is one blessed child and I for one hope to keep these ladies in my life for years to come. Thank you xxx

Inspired to blog

Well, twitter defeated me. It's lousy word count is great for 'I had the best sandwich ever' messages but does not allow me to explain why I think Give and MakeUp is a worthwhile cause. 

I should explain. Earlier today I noticed a Refuge tweet about Give and Makeup. Intrigued, I clicked the link and found an initiative bringing toiletries, baby food and women's essentials to women and children escaping domestic violence. One of the items listed was makeup. I tweeted my support for the chairty and received a reply:

"I love it, except the make-up part. That's not a need, YKWIM?"

and then

"I guess it just breaks my heart that women feel like they need it. Not right."

I understood the sentiment, that we shouldn't need to find our value in makeup and I wanted to explain that I agreed in part. I personally feel like choosing your own style is the choice of an empowered woman but I got the spirit of what this person is saying. I choose not to wear makeup except for kicks and giggles which averages about 6 times a year if I'm honest. What really made me sad though was I could not explain why I also supported the make up part of this initiative.  Twitter just doesn't give me the word count. I really hope she reads my blog and emails me if she does.

Many young woman and mother I've worked with escaping domestic violence or who have experienced sexual violence often reach that point where all they crave is to feel normal again. Many escaped with their life in tatters and a few items of bare essentials; their lives have been far from luxurious. The kindness of someone giving them something nice like a bit of mascara and lipstick can be overwhelming. I remember one girl I worked with saying 'I wore LIPSTICK today and I just felt like a teenager not a down and out with no home'. It was so honest but I understood. She didn't want to feel like she was recovering that day and we discussed lipstick heroes such as Marilyn Monroe and Dita Von Teese that session rather than reapplying for a new school. We did that later, when she was ready.

Another charity that I have a great deal of time for is Dress For Success that provide professional attire for disadvantaged women as well as career support. For me, it falls under the same category as Give and Makeup. When you're trying to look professional you do not want the jeans you ran for your life in. You want to feel equal to every person in that room and confident about how you feel. Yes, I could get upset that women need to dress up but men wear suits to interview and if I choose to add mascara to boost my confidence, heck I'm gonna do it.

Finally, and probably the most difficult part for me to write is the saddest moments I have shared with these brave young women and mothers. After years of feeling worthless and shamed, many cannot imagine words such as 'sexy', 'vibrant' or 'attractive' ever being relevant to them. Many felt they had invited the terrible things that had happened to them and I can remember a particularly powerful session where we grouped items that applied to them and those that didn't. Lipsticks, magazines, hand mirrors, padded bras and all the paraphenalia associated with a stereotyped view of women were nowhere near them. The only sign left of gender was sanitary towels. 

Wearing make up does not make you powerful, only you can do that. There are more ways that I can list here that you can feel sexy, or like a woman or know who you are. Applying lipstick requires you to look in a mirror, examine your face and enhance your features. It means that you see yourself as a woman. That in itself is an incredibly powerful tool. 

I hope this explains why I will be donating all future loyalty card points and buy one get one free offers to items listed here and posting them to Refuge, Give and Makeup and my local refuge group.