Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Youth fading

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This week's You Capture struck an instant chord: Youth. I sighed, I had a milestone birthday, it seemed I was fated to write one of those reflective posts I love from other bloggers about where I am in life right now. 

I have no idea. Really. I hit 21 with optimism and a world full of possibilities: I had time to make mistakes. Now at 30 it seems a little less free. Words like mortgages, career goals, work-life balance have entered my vocabulary. There's also the alarming amount of friends married or having children. I've never had that as a goal so I remain confused but seeing them all doing it sure makes you ponder.

Why is it that we hit birthdays and decide 'I had to be HERE by NOW'? I was never going to be married to Colin Firth, even I knew it was a whimsy but still, there were a few things I'd like to have knocked out the park by now. To be honest, lately, life has kind of kicked my ass and I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for my 30s. Shouldn't I be done with hangups and lack of confidence by now? I look at girls in the bars in their early 20s and think 'Slow down girly, you have so much to enjoy. Lay back, enjoy the ride.' So I know I must have dropped some of that. But still, I'm not exactly reaching for the stars or hitting my stride yet. I kind of hoped I would be.

So do I make resolutions? Goals? Reinvent myself? Nope. I make more tea and watch the pretty cat dancing in the sunshine over there by the stunning cherry blossoms and think about laundry and going to pilates at long last. 

I never did make it to dance this week.....




12 comments:

CraftyCripple said...

I think the fact you aren't making resolutions and are kicking back with a cup a tea, show that you are letting go of hang ups whether you think you are or not. My 30s are definitely the happiest time of my life, but maybe my 40s will be even better!

woollythinker said...

Over the years I've seen almost everyone around me have a crisis of confidence – or something – as they approach 30. There's a general sense that by 30 you're supposed to have things all figured out and be On Track with your life, but of course you're not; or you don't feel as if you are. The trick is to realise that your life IS coming together, you ARE figuring it out and approaching your goals... and no, everybody else isn't way more sorted than you. Chances are by your next birthday, this perspective shift will have happened naturally and you'll be better able to enjoy where you're at.

I'm turning 35 on Saturday. It's a nice sort of grown-up age to be. I definitely recommend the 30s.

Laura said...

how fun! Nice pics. :)

Jaz said...

A cup of ta is one of the best things to celebrate with, I told my friends I want a tea party for my birthday this year, they thought I was mad. Apparently I should be doing something more exciting for my 14th, it's not exactly a milestone one though is it?
Love the cupcake photos :)

Brooke said...

Happy BIRTHDAY! You WILL find your stride - usually when you aren't even looking :D Loved your shots.

Alita said...

Happy Birthday. Your pictures are fantastic. The cupcake looks delicious.

Alita

Jen said...

Happy Birthday!

Amber said...

Kaaate. Quit making me feel old.

That's a fantastic cupcake sparkler, though!

Leah said...

Happy birthday! The sparkler is pretty awesome. I hope the cupcake was delicious :)

ImplausibleYarn said...

Happy Birthday!!! You give me hope that one day I'll take becoming older in a calmer fashion. As it is I don't deal... well.

Rebekah said...

Happy 30th! The thirties are a wonderful place to be.

I have a close friend who is having similar feelings right now. She is 35, pregnant and single with just a low-paying part-time job. She has had to move in with her dad and she's sleeping on the couch. She is on Medicaid and the "father" of her baby is a jerk and a half and she is, understandably, feeling less-than-optimistic about her future. She said recently, "This just ISN'T what I thought my life would look like at this point." I keep telling her, "It is what it is. You can't change what happened yesterday. Make this into something good!"

Your post has made me think of my brother (age 34) and several of our friends who are in their early 40's who are still single. Some of them are quite comfortable where they are and some are not.

I hope you find your stride soon. The whole being done with hang-ups and lack of confidence is something most of us deal with for much longer than we would like. I read The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews and am reading So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore and have learned so much about myself and how I want to approach my life.

I've rambled long enough! Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Kate! said...

I'm totally with you on this. I was never really goal oriented, never really wanted to get married it just happened, and kids aren't in my future. Still, there's a pressure to accomplish and to "achieve". I had a serious crisis in my early twenties, so hopefully thirty (two years away) will be easier.

Good luck and keep posting if it makes you feel better. I don't think people talk about this "timeline crisis" stuff enough, and I think it's a really common happening.